User blog comment:BachLynn23/The Day Has Come, The Sun has Set/@comment-893709-20140909061242

I didn't notice this until now, literally a month after the fact, and coincidentally enough on my birthday. If I was still active on the wiki, this would be quite the depressing present. I'm somewhat disappointed that I wasn't mentioned here at all, as your true opinions of me have always been a mystery to me, but I refuse to accept that you might have worked with me for three and a half years while never liking me. Or, maybe I was missed since I did ostensibly leave the wiki for good. In any case, my comment here is more symbolic to me than it is a communication to you, since your chances of reading it are low, and you haven't abandoned Skype. At this point I'm liable to ramble, and in fact I debated for a while exactly what would be appropriate to leave here. A mass of words seems almost wrong, since we went through so much together, but somehow only a few isn't enough anyway.

In those final days I think we must've grown apart, as that strange understanding we once shared had broken down in the distant past, and our respective work drifted ever away. A part of me wonders if this was purposeful on your part, if you at some point came to some sort of decision about me and turned away. Some of the things you've said and done almost imply this, and as much as I like to think positively, there are always seeds of doubt. Obviously you opened yourself to others as you closed yourself to me, your responses above prove that, and your words on Skype became brief and blunt. At the time I attributed this to the stress you placed yourself under, or thought that it might be problems at home, but, again, that part of me wonders. Yet, when I look at things again, we came to like and respect different people. My freedom fighters were your terrorists. Perhaps that metaphor is too extreme, because I saw problems in those I supported as much as you did, but the vast majority of people you came to hate, I managed to have intelligent conversations with. Maybe we approached the same people from the wrong angle.

Whatever the case, my original act of stepping down made me a sort of outsider, I think. Or perhaps more specifically, I came to view myself as someone essentially outside the system, in a sense 'liberated' whether it was the case or not. I wonder now if that was the first step toward the events of two months ago, and the seeming determinism of stepping down in the face of two remarkably similar people (King and Slay) is not lost on me. Perhaps I should have left the first time, instead of dragging out the process, and maybe despite my beliefs at the time I was the one that changed and not you. With my present retrospect, maybe I can glean some answers. Ever since reading the history of Julius Caesar as a child I have tended to seek a legacy in all things I dedicate myself to, but here I have no such pretensions. For all we were, we are no longer, and I accept that.

I hope we can talk on Skype.