User blog:Shademoon/White Roses

Basically this is another apology blog-kind of an add-on to my last blog. I'm getting really snappy and depressed/ish these days, because...

1. I'm like, miserable. These allregies are killing me, I have to power-blow my nose every two minutes -_-

2. Some of my claims are taking really long to get processed xD But that's alright.

3. My dad is in Califoirna, and wasn't here for Father's Day.

On Thursday night, my dad got a call from my aunt that my wonderful grandmother was ill. My grandma lives with my aunt in Califoirna, and the doctors said she should just stay home and rest. So my dad began packing for Califoirna, and my mom and I gave him his Father's Day gifts, in case he didn't make it back by then. He kissed me goodnight, and the next morning he took off. However, Friday night, he called and said we should Skype on Saturday.

So, Saturday morning, still with my bedhead hair and in my rainbow PJ's (don't judge....they're comfy), I used my mom's computer to video-call my dad. Apparently, my grandmother wanted to see my face, and quite frankly I was wondering how she was faring. As soon as I saw her face I simply broke down. Last time I saw my grandma was when I was six, and with my really short memory, you would think I wouldn't remember or wouldn't care about someone I barely knew.

But I remembered how my grandma constantly smiled and had a heart so large she even squeezes in a little love for my troublemaking puppies. My heart isn't as big, nor is my mother's or father's, but we all had a place for her in our hearts-especially how she saw beauty in everything. I remember she would gaze at my face for what seemed like ages, and she repeated, time and time again, how proud she was to have such a beautiful granddaughter. How, during our time together, I would grumble while we walked in the forest, because all I saw was dirt and trees. But she saw a delicate primrose, ready to bloom, at the base of an oak tree. She saw lilies, in full bloom, floating like leaves on the surface of crystalline waters. She saw how the sun smiled over a blanket of clouds and how when the sunlight streamed through the branches of the trees, the leaves would cut the light like latticework, casting shadows on the floor.

I regret taking it for granted.

When I Skyped with her, she could barely say much, but she managed to see a few words-how proud she was to have beautiful granddaughters, and how she loved me, very, very much. I was too busy sobbing, and I only managed to choke out yes, I loved her too, before we ended our Skype call.

Saturday, 5:34 p.m. PST time, my loving, smiling, wonderful grandmother fell peacefully asleep forever. I saw her once. Once, after eight years. I will never see her again.

The reason I titled this blog White Roses is because white roses is the symbol of eternal marriage/love. But, in this case, it also means a farewell to someone you love.

Thank you, my lovely grandmother, for seeing the beauty in everything, even a simple forest. This blog is no doubt, much too long and probably useless in many people's eyes, but this is a tribute to my grandmother, the best I could muster. I hope writing this lets everyone here get to know her, at least a little. Not personally, but they will know how much she meant to me. I do not know the date of the funeral, nor if I will even be able to attend it, but neverless I will revere her memory forever.

Sleep peacefully, Grandmother. I am proud to have had such a beautiful grandmother.