User blog:Jenna Fraen/Untitled.

Not really sure what to title this. In a nutshell, the day I've feared has arrived.

Some of you may know, but I know none know just how much I've been struggling of late. I'm a young girl, most likely youngest on the wiki, and I've been severely depressed--perhaps even suicidal. I'm a strange one, suffering from depression (genetic from both sides: my father has depressed traits, as did my mother at one point, and one of my aunts is now long gone from it) from all sides, having near-panic attacks, anxiety attacks, bouts of sleepiness, dizziness, fatigue. I'm so insecure, that's one of the most difficult things about sharing all this, but you all must know you've been an amazing support. I've got a lot of shit at school, a lot of shit at home, and I love how I don't have any of that stupid shit here. You guys are like, totally awesome :)

But my mother, my wonderful best friend, thinks I'm spending far too much time on here. Maybe it's something rubbing off on me from my father, who spends most of his time on the computer, she says. I can't really upfront tell her that it's because all my best friends are on here, or maybe I just don't have the guts to. But she says it's like a drug on me; I'm fine spending four hours on te computer and I break down with school. In reality, that's not how I see it at all: I can either spend time talking with people I know and love in a comfy room, or I can shove myself into a world of idiots and bastards and screaming and sobbing and frustration and idiotic teachers and grades and pressure and masks. Which seems better to you?

All in all, she's restricting my computer time to weekends. And, as my father is moving out, she won't like me home alone (she almost always spends Saturday at our friend's house--their family just went through a big breakdown, she needs a lot of love and help, and Sunday helping my grandmother) so I'll be dragged along with her, and she just took my laptop away, so no sneaking on in the middle of the night anymore (>.<).

So, in order to get as much of my wiki work done in my time frame, I'm afraid chat gets too distracting to get all of it done, such as rollback duties and char ideas and admin duties and such.

This sucks, you guys have no idea. I'm going to miss you all so much, it'll be even more of a living hell for me (if that's possible). I'll come on AS MUCH as I can, and a a goodbye-let's-hope-not-for-long, I'm going to try to donate a bunch of pictures.

I love you all <3

Yours Truly,

~La hippie, Ms. Jenna Fraen