My dad is the Greek God Dionysus and my mum is a district nurse called Samantha Jones. Right from the off, they weren't exactly a match made in Olympus. All I've been told about this is that my dad had an argument with my stepmum Ariadne and he went to drown his sorrows. And by 'drown his sorrows' I mean drink so much Diet Coke that he felt sick. Now, instead of the usual American club, he decided to visit a quaint old English pub instead, situated in Oxford. My mum just happened to be celebrating her graduation from medical school at the same time and they bumped into each other. They flirted. She was drunk and he went along with it and... well, I'm sure you don't need the ins and outs of my conception.
Nine months later, my mum had a beautiful baby boy (if I do say so myself) but I don't think she saw it that way. She did love me, no doubt about that, but... I don't know... I think she might have resented me for a bit. I was a reminder of Dad and the way that he was gone the morning after they slept together. Well, that and the fact that, because of me, my mum couldn't pursue the amazing career that she'd hoped for. She had to lower expectations and take the job she has now. We still had a good life, nice house, cool car, it just wasn't what mum had dreamed about. She was ambitious that way. You could call it her fatal flaw.
Being a single mother in her early twenties wasn't exactly what mum expected. Being burdened with a child who expressed severe dyslexia and ADHD at an early age was even more to deal with. I was fine up until I started primary school. By Year 1, I was already being described as having 'disruptive behaviour'. Then the other parents started mentioning te odd sly comment to my mum here or there. So that's why, in the next summer holiday, my mum and I upped roots and moved back up north to Blackpool, where Mum was born. People are a lot less judgemental up north. I was prescribed pills but of course they didn't work. Human medicine has nothing on godly DNA. So I put up with it, and people put up with me. In high school, the teachers were slightly less accepting of my ADHD. 'Naughty behaviour' one called it. But I lived with it.
I've never thought about Dad too much. Now I understand that he disappeared because he had godly duties to attend to. But when I was little, my mum explained that my dad was never going to be around. That he was a one night stand and that was all. I don't think even she knew the truth back then. So that was how I lived, oblivious to my parentage. Until I was 13 anyway. Around that time, an American exchange student came to my high school, which was weird considering that England doesn't have an exchange program. He had the teachers fooled anyway. So this guy, who was a few years (or grades) above me, never really hung around with people in his year. He'd always sit near me and my friends, far away enough to avoid suspicion, just playing with his wallet. But I didn't question it openly anyway, since he was older and probably cooler than me. The first time I ever spoke to him was after he'd saved my life for the first time. I was sat in this boring maths lesson, staring out of the window, when I saw a harpy flying around, aiming for my window. Before it could reach me though, the exchange student, who I know now was a satyr, kicked it out of view. But again I didn't ask any questions, for three reasons: 1. I could have been daydreaming (it was a really boring lesson) and 2. I was a afraid of being ridiculed by an older kid. So I kept quiet about the ninja kid and the bird lady.
My first proper monster attack though was when I was 14. It was the last day of school and I decided to take a shortcut through the local park. At the same time, a hellhound decided to take a stroll nearby. So, I'm on my phone, browsing Facebook, when this hound pounces on me. I'm wrestling with it and I was... well, losing. Suddenly, the ninja satyr, who, again, I'd only spoken to once or twice by this point, came out from behind a tree and began firing arrows at the hellhound. To say I was shocked would be an understatement but I took the opportunity to roll out from under it and start running. But before I could get to a safe distance, the hellhound hit me again and this time I didn't see it. It scratched my arm and that hurt like hell. I've still got the scar. So, I was about to die but this satyr guy threw his wallet at me. It had landed next to my head and was lying open. I could vaguely hear my protector telling me to clip it shut and, with nothing better to do at the time, I did as he said. From there it turned into a bronze sword. With it, I waved it about with my hand and somehow struck something important because the beast rolled away in pain. It leaped at me once but I jumped out of the way. The satyr had the last shot as he brought an arrow down on its head and it turned into a dust pile.
Before I even had time to sort out the questions in my head, the satyr filled me in on everything about me adn told me that we had to go. And he wasn't taking no for an answer. I was able to give my mum one phone call to tell her that I was staying at a friend's house before the satyr and I went on our trek. Somehow, we managed to get an uninterrupted flight to Philadelphia. But it was from there that we had the real problem encounter. There was a large forest, outside of the bounds of Camp Half-Blood, where my friendly neighborhood satyr had decided to cut through. Except, whilst we walked, a Giant Scorpion had been stalking us. Both of us were exhausted so we weren't prepared when the beast leaped at us. It brought its tail down on my satyr friend and poisoned him, which left me to fight it all on my lonesome. I'd guessed that I had to stab it in the stomach because, come on, video game weak spot 101. So I clipped my wallet into sword mode and made a few practice swings, all bouncing off of various bits of armor. I'd only gotten the creature's undivided attention with that. It leaped at me and I thrusted the sword into its stomach. Not spot on but not too shabby either. It disintegrated and I got a nice dust shower for my troubles. From there, I dragged the unconscious satyr through the forest and past Thalia's tree.
So that's how I joined the coolest summer camp ever. My satyr protector was taken away and given medical treatment but I've not seen him since. Alexander the Great got me an iris-link to my mum (the day before my 15th birthday come to think of it!) where I explained everything. The bad thing was, she was still in England. So that's why I'll be staying on full time at the camp. I could swear that when I told her, she was relieved that I wasn't a burden anymore. But hey ho, that's her ambition for you. Now, I've been at the camp for a few weeks and I'm a demigod so I'd say that my new life is pretty good!