Name: Kará Hawk
God Parent: Nike, Athena, Hecet
Mortal Parent: Edward Hawk
Current age: 15
Age when she arrived at camp: 15
Appearance: Slim athletic. Average height. Dark brown hair down to her waist, that she normally wears in a braid. Tanned skin. Sapphire blue eyes, she normally wears a dark cyan sleeveless top with a leather jacket (sometimes fur) and black ripped jeans.
Personality: Kará is hot-headed and often acts before she's thought it through so this is one way to put it: "Ready...FIRE!...aim.". She's also over confident due to being used to being the best at sports as well as having high academics. Kará is highly claustrophobic and tries to avoid crowds and small spaces. She is proud and hates losing. Kará tends to look down on others.
Her father was an excellent archer, so good in-fact that he barely ever lost. This drew her mothers attention. Edward first saw Nike at a tournament. He then saw her again during the finals, whenever she was there he felt as if he couldn't lose. About a week later Nike approached him, Edward offered to buy her a drink and that's how their relationship started. They had been together only a week when she left. Edward was heart broken, he began to lose confidence and was about to give up archery altogether when Kará arrived.
He found her at the doorstep, she was wrapped in a blanket embroidered with a torch and laurel wreath. There was a note tucked into the folds of the blanket. It simply read: Edward, this is your daughter. I'm sorry that I left so suddenly but I can't tell you why. Maybe one day you will learn the truth, maybe not. Her name is Kará. Along with this note you will find a dagger. Make sure you give it to her before she turns thirteen. Along with the note he found a (CB) dagger, he found that a little strange but promised himself he would give it to Kará when she was older.
At first he was reluctant to take on the father role but he grew to love Kará, even though he pushed her hard he couldn't imagine a life without her.
In primary school Kará was a loner, she didn't really mind though. It meant that she had enough space, as soon as she could she joined as many sport's clubs as she could fit into her week. That was pretty much her life. If she wasn't doing sports she was reading or going for a jog.
During her early life Kará never really fitted in, she tended to put herself above others and rush into things. When she started at preschool they found out that she was also ADHD and dysleix, asides from that her life was fairly normal. When she was old enough she found out about her talent for sports.
She excelled at almost every sport that she tried but despite this she still was a loner. So when the harpie attacked she was alone. Despite only being 13 she survived, thankfully she was walking home from hokey practice and had her hokey-stick with her. When the harpie dived for her she managed to hit the harpie and ran, it pursued her as, Kará tripped and lost any lead she had on the harpie. Her hokey-stick had skittered away so there was no hitting the harpie again. Kará's backpack had split when she tripped and the contents had spilled out, she spotted her dagger and grabbed it. Kará gripped it tighter and swung it at the harpie. It disintegrated, covering her in yellow powder. Kará didn't hang around she grabbed the spilled contents of the bag and ran home. After that she always kept the dagger on person.
When she was 14. her father died of a heart attack. The first foster home was far from her home town. A few days after moving in, the nightmares started they were vivid and left her sleepless. Then her teacher suddenly retired and a new one that she had never heard of before took her place. The new teacher constantly blamed Kará for everything that went wrong in the class even if it went her fault. It was as she hated Kará personally. The day after the new teacher arrived she tried to kill Kará, she attacked her at break. No longer a human instead a Scythian Dracanae. This time Kará got a lucky first shot disintergrating the monster with the dagger. That was the final straw, Kará ran.
second foster home (she was 14 1/2 now) : this time she kept what she saw to herself, she though that she might just be able to live normally. It was around about then when she met a Naiad, the water spirit was friendly and seemed to know what was happening to her but before she could explain one of the jock's saw her. From then on she was teased mercilessly. She started to cause trouble at home as it seemed her foster parents didn't have time for her. Especially since they had there own child now. She ran again. she knew her life could never be normally. But why was this happening to her. What had she ever done to deserve this.
During a netball tournament at her third foster home (She's 15 now), a poodle attacked her. Well thats what everyone else saw. Kará saw it's true form. A hellhound.
One of the other students lept off the stands and ran over to her. It was that kid with crutches. Except now he wasn’t using them. Instead he carried them and used them to whack the hellhound or the head. He ran and indicated she should follow but the Hellhound was back on its feet. there was no way they could out run it. Kará's hand immediately went to the dagger. But of course she didn't have it. It was in her backpack in the stands. She ran for it. The stands weren't to far off so she made it (thankfully) and manged to pull out the dagger. The hellhound lept at her. She slid underneath it and stabbed its underbelly it disintegrated as the others had.
Kará made her way over to the boy who was still waiting for her. She disn't know why she followed him but it felt right.The boy called a cab to take us to long island south. Thankfully we weren’t to far from it. He paid the taxi driver and got out the cab. He finally introduced himself as Mark.
Mark led Kará up the hill and took her inside camp half blood. Kará took it all rather well. She finally knew that what she had seen was real and that she wasn't alone.
It was there she got her other 3 trusted celestial bronze throwing knives and Katanas.
Weapons: She normally carries four (Celestial bronze) throwing knives and two Katanas.
- Please proofread your claim as there are spelling errors.
- As your character is a demigod and not a nymph, please provide a surname for your character.
- For our reference, please provide Kará's current age and the age she got to camp.
- Kindly elaborate on the personality so that it's roughly 3 to 4 sentences long, instead of the use of individual words.
- Please expand on your history so that it's 3 to 4 paragraphs long.
- Elaborate more on the circumstances during when Nike and Edward met and bonded into a relationship.
- Provide more detail upon Kará's early childhood, from the years after she she was born up to her first monster attack.
- Specify what species of monster the "beast" was, but assuming from the statement: "Kará was attacked again by an Lamia", I would assume that the beast what that too.
- A Lamiai is categorized under medium on our wikia; it is generally used on quests and in some cases would only attack a child of a big-three god. Kindly choose a monster categorized under light.
- If the rock was indeed "heavy", I highly doubt a 13 year old would be able to pick it up let alone throw it.
- Knives are great secondary weapons, but they generally shouldn't be used as a primary weapon. Kindly provide a suitable primary weapon as well.
- Specify that the weapons are made of Celestial Bronze as it is the only type of metal that is fatal to monsters and are generally used by demigods.
Though we try to stick with canon information when we can, on the wiki we don't allow knives, daggers, whips or anything of the sort to be a main weapon, as they are inefficient in killing monsters. Please fix all the other problems Kevin has mentioned above.
- Could you please expand on her early childhood before 13?
- How did she manage to escape the harpy? Even if she hit it with a hockey stick it would still try and pursue her.
- After the harpy attack, she doesn't need to be attacked again for another year, so having the hellhound attack so close is unnecessary.
- If you do keep the hellhound attack, you'll need to expand on the details of how she escaped etc.
- Could you expand on her time in the foster homes?
- How/when did the satyr find her? Could you please detail her journey to camp?
- Also, please fix the weapons choice.
- Could you please expand on her childhood before 13?
- Why was the new teacher a breaking point for Kará?
- Could you please add ages everytime she switches foster homes?
- Why, exactly, did she leave the second home?
- Throwing knives are still considered secondary weapons, she needs a primary weapon like a sword, spear, crossbow etc
- Where did she get her weapons?
Also, please don't comment on your claims saying that you will fix something, please only comment when you have fixed something. Otherwise it confuses claim checkers :)
- It's really unrealistic for Kará to excel at almost every spot her academics, Dyslexia most likely would cause her to have difficulty and with ADHD, she'd have trouble concentrating. Especially with her godparentage, her severity of Dyslexia and ADHD won't be less of an issue as it would with a child of Athena.
- It's highly unlikely for a harpy to "lose track" of a demigod, they are capable of flight at quick speed and from a higher spot they'd get a bird's eye view of the area.
- Monsters would not just "not attack her" if they are nearby. They'd most likely would catch upon her scent and would then attack her.
- For each year, after her first monster attack, that she didn't go to camp, please add and elaborate on a monster attack.
- Hellhounds are quick and with the user of pouncing, it should be able to maneuver and catch up to Kará and Mark. If there are people blocking the hellhound's way, then they'd be slowing Kará and Mark down too.
- How did Kará get her hands on the Celestial Bronze weapon during the encounter with the harpy? It isn't something that can be found on the street.
- Why and where did she get a shard of Celestial Bronze metal? It's unrealistic, Celestial Bronze isn't something you find everywhere, you can't just "find" one lying around.
- If the shard of Celestial Bronze metal is sharp, then it'd most likely cut her hands if she held it.
- But that's only when Hephaestus is unhappy of his work. There needs to be the right circumstances because it wouldn't happen very often (it is a sacred metal to the Greeks). It's drastic if a mortal found it and sees its faint glow and the inability for mortals to be affected by such metal, so please change it.
- Kindly if you comment here, please sign your message with your signature (4 ~'s or ~~~~).
Fleiri (talk) 15:09, June 29, 2014 (UTC)Uhh sorry, first time roleplaying on a wiki. (first time on wiki) I'm in the process of fixing it now, but before I do is it fine if her father found a dagger with her along with the note?
Yeah, It is fine, but the note would probably need to explain somehow the weapon and its use.
- Please fix some of the spelling mistakes please.
- It's hard to read also with some of your grammar in the sentences
- Add 4 ~'s at the end of your claim or your sig.
- Why would her father feel lucky whenever she's around if he never really talked to her...
- Why did the goddess want the dagger to be given at the age of 13?
- Please explain her childhood
In your history there's not much about Kará's early childhood other than her experience in primary school. You'd need to fill the age gaps in your history and maybe provide a bit about what happened each year (you can skip a few years if they are unsignificant).
Awesome. Welcome to the Nike Cabin :D