Mortal Parent:Brett Penrose
Madison is totally absorbed in her self. She is an extreme narcissist and thinks she is the center of the universe. In her mind she believes people are things to be used. She tends to have great first impressions, coming across as very charismatic and personable, but she is actually very condescending and selfish. Madison is very vain and conceited, for example You could start talking to a person about how you have cancer, and pretty soon you're talking about their new car, She isn't necessarily more attractive than other people, but she does take care of her appearance and places an importance on looking physically attractive, She tends to make excuses for everything and is very sensitive to criticism. She won't put the feelings of the others above her own. She has an attitude that makes her think that she is better than you. Madison is very bossy and is always trying to boss you around or push you to agree with her. Madison is untrustworthy and deceitful; make sure not to tell her your secrets.
Weapons: CB Crossbow
"Dammit im going to be late" said Brett as he drove through the backwoods of West Virginia. The rain hit his car like teardrops on the ground, silent but deadly. The night sky was an abyss, it made Brett feel like there was no hope in the world. It felt as though the night was choking him, suffocating him like hands on his neck. The hum of the car soothed Brett, giving him a feeling of serenity and tranquility. This was the only time he had to himself; he was always in a meeting or at a party or sleeping with some bar chick he picked up, so just having this time by him on the road kept him sane. He was on his way to his brother's wedding in California. He and his brother had a falling out a few years back so Brett was very surprised to find out that he had been invited to the celebration. He gripped the steering wheel hard causing his knuckles to turn a pale color due to the blood rushing out of his knuckles. Brett’s eyelids started to feel like lead, and as he drove he slowly started to close his eyes. Brett suddenly shoke himself awake. "I need to stay awake to make it on time" Brett tried his hardest to stay awake but sleep depredation was finally catching up with him. His eyelids then closed for good, the next thing he knew he was swerving into the woods in the path of a massive pine tree. He prepares himself for the impact of the tree, The car then smashes into the tree. Brett can hear the sound of glass shattering and metal tearing. He could feel his ribs being crushed and his legs being broken. Brett wails in pain as pieces of glass pierce his skin causing blood to flow from the wounds. He sat in the car pinned and bleeding out onto the concrete road.Brett just sat in the car stunned ans scared.he knew he was going to die, he could already start to feel the effects of blood lose and slowly started to close his eyes saying his hopes, prayers, and losses.
Suddenly Brett felt the shock of what felt like a taser. Voices started to invade his ears. "Get me two CC's of Adrathylty-" The voices faded in and out. the shock came again and he heard a man say. "He is starting to stabilize!" He slowly opened my eyes,the bright light hit his eyes like fire. He quickly put his hand up to shield his eyes and saw that a tube was sticking out of his forearm. "What the-?"He said in his inner monologue. "Oh your awake." Brett adjusted to the light and looked towards the voice. There stood a doctor with sliver hair that reached his temples and a beard that starting to turn gray at the roots. The doctor then came over and said. "You were in a car accident, you broke your tibia and you femur, you also broke fractured your spine and will be in a cast for a few months." He winced at the story, he remembered everthing, dammit kayoed will be on his ass about this. He probably had missed the Wedding. Then a question came to his mind. "Wait doc, how'd I get here?" he asked with an arched eyebrow."A lady brought you here, she's still in the waiting room, I can go get her if you want? He looked at the man awestruck."Uhh sure?" Brett sat there thinking to him. I wonder who saved me; She drove me all the way here? Why didn’t she call 911 from the accident? All these question raced through his mind about this women who had saved him. Moments later the doctor came into the room with a women in tow. As she came closer, he got to see the women who saved his life. She was beautiful; the women had long blonde hair that fell down her back. Her eyes the bluest colors, like the ocean. Her lips were pink and full, almost kissable...No this wants the time. He stopped gawking and let the women walk towards his bed. He grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Thank you for saving me" Brett said with a smile. "No problem, I was just passing by when I saw your car crashed into a tree, I looked inside and saw you there, I then grabbed you from the car and took you to the hospital.” "I would say that it wasn’t a good idea to pull him from the car because he could’ve be pinned and you might’ve added insult to injury but in this case it saved you." the doctor said in a humorous tone which Brett thought was pretty funny. " Were going to hold you here for a week or so before you can go home." the doctor turned around and headed out the door, which left the women Brett alone.” Thank you again" Brett said to break the silence. "Your welcome again", at that we bathed laughed. "How can I repay you?"“Umm its fine, really" the women said with a slight tone of nervousness. "How about dinner at Couvinci?" Brett said. "Uhh Sure?"
Throughout the next week the women stayed by Brett’s side, playing games with him, taking, joking, ect. When he was discharged he immediately took the women out for dinner even though he was in a wheelchair and had a neck brace. The dinner went great and after that Brett asked out the women. She looked surprised but said yes and kneeled down to kiss him. For the next month the couple met and had dates. A month after that the women found out she was pregnant with a girl. Brett was ecstatic for the new arrival. After 5 months little Madison was born. She was beautiful with her mom’s eyes and smile. After the birth the women told him everything about gods and camp half-blood. Brett was very surprised but in the end accepted his daughter. During the night the women left Brett which made him sad but he knew he needed to stay strong for his daughter well being.
Madison childhood was good; her dad was a ceo of a big company, which meant that they were loaded! Her father though wasn’t around a whole ton due to work and her mother had just gone and ditched her for god knows why. Madison tended to feel kind of lonely but had the occasional company of her grandmother. At age 5 Madison grandmothers passed away which left Madison bitter at the world. At age 7, Madison was diagnosed with adhd and dyslexia; Brett was not happy by this but coped with it. At age 9 she was molested by one of her nanny. Madison told her dad whom the statement shocked> he soothed her ad kept saying that he was sorry, that he should’ve been there for her. He then quit his job and stayed at home with Madison, When Madison was 9 she got scouted for a model agency and became the face or Facial Girls. This caused her vanity and narccism to go up. When Madison was 11 her and her dad moved to Maine in order for Madison to live a more humble and quiet life.
At age 13 when she tending to her garden She looked around and saw a boy looking directly at her. He had crutches, bent looking legs, and was bald. She asked "Can I Help You?” The boy looked at her. "I’m new in the Neighborhood and I need some friends." 'He must be really desperate, to be asking for friends' she thought. "Umm Sure?" For a while she really didn't care for the kid but then she started to gain feelings for him they were always with each other. They went to the Maine boutique and tried on clothes, ate tons of food, Caleb was always by her side. ,
At age 14, Caleb and Madison were walking home from a party late at night, when a Dog came into view. Then she saw Caleb with fright in his eyes. She then thought 'what's up with this, it's just a dog. Then its eyes turned a dark crimson color and a freighting growl came from its mouth. "Hell--Hellhound.” Caleb said this as it bounded towards her. Then suddenly the beast turned to golden ash. There behind the ash pile stood Caleb holding a bronze sword. He then put the sword back in his Backpack. She thought 'How did he fit it in there?' As if reading her mind he said "It's A Charm if you’re wondering". She didn't say anything because she was in total shock. He dragged her all the way to her house, as she looked around then saw his legs. They weren't legs, they where goat legs. What the hell is going on Madison thought to herself. This guy wasn’t even human! When they got to their destination, which was her house He let her go and he burst through the door, Caleb told Brett what happened and Brett sighed. "I knew this time would come.” Brett than walked away and came back later with a suitcase in tow. He handed her the baggage and explained everything to her about gods and monsters and the camp that she was going to. Madison just stared at her father and her goat thing friend. "You should get going" Brett said. Madison walked up to her dad and hugged him. "Make sure to vist me daddy!” She then turned around and exited the household and made a beeline for her car. Moments Caleb joined her and he took a seat in the driver’s side. "You better not scratch my car" Madison said in mock anger. "No guarantees" Caleb said with a smirk on his elfish face. They drove camp half blood and madison go a bow there.
- They were not attacked on the way to camp
Goddesses only stay pregnant for about 5 months. Also, they won't give birth in hospitals
Changed. What else do I need to edit?
- Please fix up the general puncuation and spelling of the claim. In the first paragraph you've mixed up a couple of "his"s and "my"s.
- She screamed trying to shake of the giant beast - what's happening here? Is the hellhound on Madison? If so, could you please make it clearer? If not, still make the attack clearer. :P
- Just to clarify, she's thirteen when she reaches camp?
She's 14 when she gets to camp says in the last paragraph, I changed the beast part. Fixed grammer and spelling. What else do I need to edit?
- Check spelling and grammar again. Some things are still iffy.
- How did she get her celestial bronze weapon and when?
- I don't think the father would rush his daughter off to camp like that.
- I also don't think he would let her go alone with this saytr.
- It's also unlikely that they had no run-ins with monsters on the way to camp, more importantly because she is now informed that she is a demi-god, which would make her scent stronger.
He rushed her off because he knew it would be safer for her at the camp, and he trusted caleb sense he was her daughters best friend.Well they werent attacked on they way to camp She just got lucky.Fixed the grammer stuff, spelling shoudve been ok, Anything else i need to change?
"She was not attacked on the way to camp." - Well, first off, the monsters try and prevent the demigods from reaching the camp, so, they would have had to attacked her, unless she lived really close to the camp.
Secondly, where did she get the bow? I don't think I saw that explained. Did she have any other weapons?
Also, these paragraphs make it slightly hard to pick up where you leave off, I would suggest making them smaller.
OKay i changed it to where she lives closer to camp. i took some stuff out.
You need to change Paris to Maine in the last few paragraphs. Also, I can't imagine there would be much modelling exposure in Maine >.<
ChangedOkay, looks good.