My Best Friend
정말 당신을 사랑합니다...

Hi, so yeah this is another template. At the time I'm typing this, you're at school and we haven't spoken for 2 days (excluding "FINNY" and your "JACky" :P) and I've sent loads of shit in skype, which I'm sceptical you'll reply to when/if you come on. This isn't a birthday template, no. Neither is it a pre-birthday template.

When I was typing everything in my skype to you - when you read it, you'll notice how I go from a very confident bitch to someone who's not confident. The past two days it's taken you ages to come on and, when you do, we don't speak. Liv told me you didn't feel like coming on and part of me wondered why you didn't tell me? I mean, I know I don't need to know everything about your life, but I just wondered if you felt the need to tell me? Writing this now I can tell you I've seen what you said to Liv about not being on and how you said "ik ;-;" when she said you just missed me. I noticed the timing of her's and looked back to our skype chat, where not a reply was found. Part of me felt annoyed but the larger part of me felt sad - you gave Liv a reaction to the template and I didn't have one. If you see my skype, you'll notice that I said I hope your skype's playing up again where I can't see messages you send; I'm still really hoping that's the case. This isn't going to be a long ass template of how I sent a load of shit with no replies, but rather, an apology.

너는 나의 최고의 친구야
You are my best friend

I'm sorry this week I've been an asshole to you. That's the basic of it, I've been an asshole to you and part of me wonders that's why you don't feel like coming on - because I've been a dick to you. Looking back, the history thing was pathetic. Should I've been mad/upset that you didn't do it the first two times you promised? No because you have other things to do. Sometimes I guess I forget your whole world doesn't revolve around me (though I jokingly like to think it does c:). The only justification I can think of was that it was you who wanted them to be made quickly so I guess when you didn't do their history for ages, I got confused as to why you'd suggest we do it and then not do it. Regardless, I've already said thank-you in skype but in case you couldn't see it or you ignored it, tyyyyyyyyyy c:

I know you said to Liv you felt like an asshole to me this week, and you haven't been. Yeah there were some times where you got a bit assholish, but as a whole, you weren't one. That goes to me. On a comparative note, I was more assholish to you than you were to me and I'm really sorry for it. Hell, even writing the skype message today I felt like a dick. Even if you thought you were the biggest dick to me in the world, I'd still talk to you no matter what, still support you and still love you because you're the best friend I've ever had and it annoys me we're in different countries across the Atlantic Ocean because there's so many things I'd want to say face to face rather than you just reading it over a computer screen (I say face to face but unless I've grown it'll be more like face to neck but the gesture'll be there.).

My main realisation as I was typing out my messages to you today was that maybe this was you wanting to leave. Even writing about it now I can already feel myself getting sad just at the thought of it. Whether or not you intend to, it still scares me because I don't know where I'd be without you. Here's my entire conversation with Liv (who I spammed as the day progressed):

[09:52:27] Queen Oli: Liv omg what if this is his way of telling me he doesn't want to speak any more

[09:52:37] Queen Oli: omg maybe he doesn't want to be friends with me any more

[09:52:44] Queen Oli: fuck omg

[09:55:08] Queen Oli: maybe him not coming on is a sign of that

[09:55:12] Queen Oli: omg Liv no help pls get on ;-;

[10:47:06] Queen Oli: if it is

[10:47:10] Queen Oli: I've had this happen once before

[10:47:13] Queen Oli: I can't have it happen again no

[11:38:41] Queen Oli: update I also said this to him

[11:38:44] Queen Oli: Like you don't know how much I'm hoping it's the problem where you send something but I don't receive it just please don't hate me ;-; ily ;-;

[11:52:45] Queen Oli: Liv omg

[11:53:11] Queen Oli: I already lost one best friend over wikia

[11:53:13] Queen Oli: I can't lose another

[11:53:13] Queen Oli: I can't lose him ;-;

[14:44:08] Queen Oli: what if he's leaving

[14:44:10] Queen Oli: omg

[14:44:10] Queen Oli: no

[14:44:12] Queen Oli: I can't

[14:44:16] Queen Oli: ;-;

So as you can see, my attitude from what I messaged you was very different to what I was actually feeling like. As I mentioned before, it saddened me a lot to write it. I know Clay sent you something as well when I told him we hadn't spoken in 2 days. If you felt like I told him to send you that, I didn't and if I did, I'd choose for it not to be that aggressive because you're not the bad guy in this situation.

The main point of this tab is to tell you that I do truly miss you when we don't talk - these past two days I've felt empty as if I had nothing to talk about or really, no reason to be happy because I wasn't talking to you. I've said it a couple of times and I'll say it again, seeing your name pop up in the bottom left corner of my screen always makes me reassured that you're there and, when we talk, I always smile because I know I've lucked out on one of the best friends imaginable.

Without spoiling your present too much, you are and always will be the best friend I've ever had. Nobody's shown me as much loyalty, as much forgiveness and as much love as you've shown for me and now I just hope I've shown the same.

I want to address this now and it'll be my final point. You can tell me anything. Anything at all. Throughout my near year of depression you've been by my side all the time and making me feel better whenever I need it. Well, now it's my turn.

I knew a couple of days ago when you said you were fine you really weren't, but I didn't press. I didn't press because I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Also, don't say you were fine because I know when you're not fine because I'm your best friend c: I just want to say, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don't lie about how you feel. Take it from me, lying how you feel and bottling it up isn't the way to go - you need to talk about it and, when you do, I'll be there to listen no matter what it is and no matter how long it is. I make this promise to you now that whenever you talk about your feelings (which I hope is a lot more now), I won't give up until you feel better. Like you said to me, knowing I made you smile or made you feel a little bit better is the best feeling in the world and I feel like I've accomplished something amazing.

I realised for the past year you've been the strong one in the friendship. You've been the one that has to put me before you and, well, that's stopping. I'll be the big one because you deserve someone to and I wouldn't be a very good best friend if I didn't. You've saved my life (figuratively and literally) and it'd be the least I could do to be the bigger one in the friendship (not in the height sense, we're still not at that point yet).

그래요 난 널 사랑해
Geuraeyo nan nul saranghae
That's Right I Love You
(Cheeky Genie why not)
King of masked singer 복면가왕 - Use 2 bucket gold lacquer - Don't Think You're Alone 20150426

King of masked singer 복면가왕 - Use 2 bucket gold lacquer - Don't Think You're Alone 20150426

Don’t get tired, don’t give up

No matter what hardships you have, always overcome

When it’s too hard, when it’s too tiring

I will lend you my back from behind

You can set down your burdens at anytime

Don’t think that you’re alone, don’t cry saying that it’s hard

You and I, we know

Lean against my back and if you endure through this world

You will have given me a great dream

Don’t rush and think ahead, when you’re sleepy, lean against the wall

Give your exhausted body a momentary time of rest

Don’t think that you’re alone, don’t cry saying that it’s hard

You and I, we know

On a very sunny day, for just one day

Let’s be someone else

Let’s hope for a different tomorrow We can’t stop

Don’t think that you’re alone, don’t cry saying that it’s hard

You and I, we know

Lean against my back and if you endure through this world

You will have given me a great dream

When it comes to us

It’s hurting together when you’re struggling

(Shade did this for me on my birthday and when the thought of you bottling up your feelings re-entered my mind, my thoughts went straight to this song and I know how it felt when I got this, so here you go <3)

Also let's ignore the fact I used the same template as last time xD

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