Something any good helper needs to know how to do is to be able to check a claim thouroughly for errors. Seeing as you're still a little new to the claim-game, I would like you to try and list all the elements you need in a claim. By the end of this task, not only will you know how to check a claim for errors, but you should be able to craft finer and more accurate histories for your characters :)
Please list the elements needed for a claim below:
1. Well...... To start off, The claim must obviously have Name,Age,Personality,Appearance, History,their main weapon and their three choices of godly parent.
2. With the preferred godly parent on top, this is too ensure that the demigod will still go to a cabin even if the first one is full.
3. The number of monster attacks must be frequent. Example: A demigod had reached camp when he was fourteen. His scent grew stronger when he was seven. That means he will have eight monster attacks.
4. The claim must include how the Godly and mortal parent met and how they gotten the demigod child.
5. The character must obviously not be OP.
6. The claim must be signed with 3 ~ if with a custom made signature or 4~ with a normal one.
7. The demigod's godly parent must be a cabin god.
I think that should be all. Unless the element that I'm thinking is not the same as the element you're thinking.
Bird: Nope, those are the correct elements. Just be careful when talking about demigod scent + monster attacks. A demigod's scent only really increases once they gain an awareness for their nature, but they can be attacked before that point. In your example, if a child had been having attacks for eight years, there would be a minimum of eight attacks, but there would most likely be more than that :)
Myssy: Oh..... Okay. Whatss my next task! :3
Bird: Okay, so as a part of this task I would like you to write a brief mock history (it can be a history you plan on using for a future character, that's okay too), and I'll judge you on your ability to make the history as plausible, realistic, sensible and yet still as creative as possible. Make sure everything about the history is water-tight; childhood, monster attacks, adding ages at the appropriate times etc. Good luck :)
Please write Mock History under here:
Jenny Norths was a classical pianist and very good one at that. She would always play in the concert hall where she would amazed people with her piano skills. One day, Apollo, under the name Andrew, came down to Britain and watched how Jenny played. At the backstage, Andrew and Jenny talked and they gotten closer. They went out for coffee and Jenny expressed how much she loved music and how it had helped her. Andrew had already fallen in love and a few months and dates later, Andrew said that he wasn't a mortal but the god of music, Apollo. Jenny at first was skeptical but she believes him in the end. After that, they had sex.
When Jenny woke up the next day, she saw that Andrew was gone. But a watch was at the bedside table. She was heart broken but she willed herself to move on. She decided to forget everything that Andrew was and moved on. A few weeks later, she started to throw up a lot and eat a ton. She didn't believed she was pregnant with a love child. However, she noticed she had missed her period and that's when she believes that she was pregnant. At first she was considering to abort the baby.
But after a while, Jenny decided to keep the child so that she could groom him into a pianist or a violinist. It was always her dream to make her child famous in the music business. She had put all her hopes and dreams on the baby. A few months later, Jenny had given birth to a beautiful boy with big brown eyes and dark brown hair named Joseph Norths. He was all smiled and had a similar sunny aura that his father had.
Joseph had always been a quiet child. He would rather draw or play a musical instrument in the background. His teachers and Jenny found out that he was a musical prodigy. However, when he was in the sandbox outside of school at the age of seven, he gotten bullies by a bigger and stronger kid. Everything was in a blue and pretty soon, the bully's hand was burnt.
The bully, while crying, said that Joseph burnt him using some sort of light but the teachers didn't believed him so he was sent to time out. At the age of eight, Joseph's class was sent to learn Archery in a country club. Everybody was excited to learn except for Joseph. He didn't seemed very interested in the sport and wanted nothing more than to play the piano again.
During the class, everybody was having trouble to shoot the bow properly. The kids was scornful at Joseph for not being enthusiastic like them. But they hated him more when he has shoot the arrow properly, most of the arrows hitting the bullseye. At the age of nine, Joseph had moved to another state and his mother and him had almost gotten mugged by a guy. While the guy was threatening with a gun, Joseph had made a beam of light appear out of no where and the guy gotten blinded. The guy shouted and was confused for a moment, this was enough for Jenny to grab Joseph and run off.
When he was ten, Joseph had an art project to try to duplicate a famous artwork. The teacher thought that a ten year old wouldn't be able to copy a complicated artwork. However, Jenny saw that Joseph managed to draw Leonardo Da Vinci's Sunflowers. Jenny ripped the picture while Joseph was asleep and drew a picture herself and made Joseph submit it to his teacher. When he was eleven , he was being stalked by a pretty lady on his way home from school. He found out and ran home to his mother. Jenny was spooked out and moved to another state.
However when he was twelve, he was walking home from school when he bumped into a woman. He had apologised but the woman grabbed his arm and revealed herself to be a Harpy. He screamed, afraid as the Harpy claws scratched Joseph's arms. He staggered back and sought for help but the street was empty of people. The Harpy's claws went for Joseph's face as he held up his hands. Joseph expected to be dead by now but he creaked open one eye and saw that his silver watch, that he always wear, turned into a bow and arrow.
The arrow was made of a very light wood with a gold line on it, it will always shine in the sunlight. He saw the Harpy about to scratched him again when he had remembered the stuff he learnt from the Archery class he took when he was eight and strung the bow with the arrow. He launched it into the Harpy and she died. Joseph was tired and scared so he ran home while crying. Jenny found out what happened and they moved to another state again. During this time, a satyr called Colin Reeves had visited Jenny and talked her into taking him to camp but she relented because she would be lonely of Joseph was gone and forced him out of her house.
At the age of thirteen, Joseph was on a cliff, watching the sun go down when he heard a neigh behind him. He turned and his eyes widened at the sight of a flaming horse. He immediately got onto his feet and his watch turned into a bow and arrow again and the horse charged at him. Due to his ADHD, he has dodged the attacks and attacked it again with his bow and arrow.He managed to launch an arrow into the Horse's neck but the horse continued to charge at him. This time, Joseph shot the arrow into the horse's torso and it exploded into golden dust in mid jump.
When he was fourteen, he was going to the store to get milk for his mum. He had bought the milk and he encountered a Dracanae. He was shock but wanted to sneak away. The Dracanae saw Joseph and extended it's long tail to attack and strangle him. He dodged the attack and his watch turned into his favorite bow and arrow. He had launched a Celestial Bronze metal-tipped arrow into the Dracanae's stomach and it exploded into dust.
When he was fifteen, he was coming home from his piano lesson when a Hellhound pounced on him. He had dropped everything but tapped his watch and it became his trusty bow and arrow. The hellhound tried to bite his head off but Joseph pushed the mouth away. The hellhound tried to pounced on him again however, Joseph couldn't dodged in time and got a cut on his rib cage. He pushed the monster away when it was about to scratch him. The hellhound was out of balance so he took this chance to shot an arrow into the animal. So he shot an arrow and aimed it near the hellhound. It missed a little but managed to have a dark red cut with blood oozing out of the wound. The hellhound finally recovered and he was about to pounce on him again when Joseph shot it again and it got the Hellhound's throat. It had dug deep inside the throat and the hellhound exploded into dust.
At the age of sixteen, Joseph was out, running some errands when a man walked up to him. He was a handsome man with Blonde hair and blue eyes. He had a fatherly smile that was directed to Joseph. Joseph has his hand on his watch in case it was another monster that was going to eat him but the man shook his head. Joseph was shocked that the man could see his watch and know about it. He had became suspicious and uneasy at the same time. "I am your father, Joseph. I'm sorry for abandoning you a long time ago. Come give me a hug." The man said but Joseph hesitated, this was his biggest dream ever to meet his father but he was feeling very uneasy. Finally, he forced himself not to think about his father and 'Apollo' turned into a sandy like creature with fangs like a vampire.
The monster attacked him and Joseph dodged but just in time. He was having a hard time fighting the monster, the Amicoid kicked him down and was about to kill him when an arrow pierced through his body. Joseph turned his head to the right and saw a goat man with a bow and arrow in his hands. The goat man wounded the monster and Joseph had finished it off with his weapon. The satyr walked to him, "Hey buddy? You okay? How about we take you to your mum? Okay?"
Joseph nodded and led the satyr to his home. When his mother found out, she burst into tears and told Joseph his true heritage. Jenny finally let Joseph go to camp and Colin brought him to camp safely. He met people like Asyline Hayes and Markus Darkwood, one of the two had been rescued by Colin too. A few hours later, Joseph gotten claimed as Son Of Apollo.
Bird: Try to make your paragraphs longer, they should be a minimun of four sentences long. Kids do not start manifesting their powers at the age of five, they might start getting their powers at around the age of 7-9. There are only female harpies. He would not have been getting monster attention at such a young age, he would start attracting them at around 11-13. Whips are counted as secondary weapons on the wiki, so he'd need a primary weapon. Because it is a secondary weapon, and a weak one at that, it's unlikely he would be able to defeat all the monsters with just the whip.
Comments For The Claim
- There must be an age for Sarai.
- The godly parents choice must be three choices, the requested one at the 1) slot. Also, the way the person wrote it is like Hades and Ares had the same baby with the same person. It must be a Hades or Ares or (third godly parent choice)
- The personality is too short. You can't fully describe a person with just one sentence. It must be at least five-eight sentences (I think.....)
- The history is overly too short. It should be longer.
- The history has to talk about how the godly parent felt too. Because the godly parent and the mortal parent has to fall in love in order to make the baby. Unless the godly parent raped the mortal parent......
- How did Sarai came out of the mother's womb? Did she popped out? Did she instantly came out due to a god's meddling? I don't know.
- What did the grandmother did to Sarai? Did she beat her? Did she abused her? Did she just lectured her and Sarai felt wronged?
- Before the age of eleven, we know almost next to nothing about Sarai's childhood. Elaborate more like what were Sarai's likes, dislikes and her reflation shop between her mother.
- Speaking of her mother, where did she go? The history didn't say anything about her dying or abandoning Sarai so where did she go?
- A ten year old is unlikely to fend by herself in the streets so she'll most likely die....
- At only the age of eleven and is not a child of the big three, she'll most likely will not attract the attention of the Hydra, which is a medium level monster.
- If she wanted to change the demigod parentage, she just can't stay and use in one corner and the Hydra will leave. It'll most likely find her due to her scent.
- There is suppose to be a monster attack for every year when the demigod is not at camp. So, elaborate what happened at the age of twelve.
- Is Mason Gale a demigod or a satyr? Also, there must be a character page if he is a demigod....
- There is no such monster called Devil Dog? I assume you are talking about a Hellhound and elaborate about the monster attack.
- Seven attacks? Kindly elaborate on them more....
- Since none of them are the child of a big three (assuming Mason isn't a child of the Big Three) they won't attract that much monsters.)
Did I do good Momma? :3
Bird: Oh my goodness you were certainly right when you said the claim would give me a headache >.< Watch your spelling/grammar in comments, and generally if a comment has already been stated then you should either go back and bold the comments above or say something like "Please fix the above comments". But honestly, there's such a variety of things wrong with that particular claim that most of you points are valid. Here's just a few thingies for the future though:
- Character personalities only have to be 3-4 good sized sentences long.
- You can gloss over the feelings of the god parent because it's less about them and more about the mortal parent.
- You don't need that womb comment; unless the parent is Athena then the actual details of the birth are not necessary.
- Even if Mason was a demigod, he doesn't have to be an existing character. A more appropriate comment would have been; "Are you planning on making Mason as a character on the wiki? If not, please explain his whereabouts at the end of the history."
- Even though you explained they wouldn't be attacked seven times, you should give an example of how many times they could be attacked, within reason.