Does anyone actually do the whole blog thing here? No clue, haven't been here so long.
But yes, I'm back! Formerly ~Rose Witch~ I've taken on a new username to fit me more. I'll be making a new character soon and I can't wait to talk to all who I left and all the new people who have come to be part of the family.
As happy as I am to be back, there's one thing I wish to discuss. Something that's been something I haven't admitted to anyone in my entire life up until a couple of months ago.
Yes, when I joined I went by Jasmine, sometimes Jade. When I was born that was the name given to me. But my entire life it's been wrong. My entire life I've identified as a boy, and I feel horrible I never told you guys. I hadn't even come out to my mother until a month ago. The rest of my family have yet to find out. Only two of my friends in real life know.
And I really want you guys to know. You're all so important to me, have left such a big impact in who I am that I feel bad that I lied. I forced myself to be a girl because I feared that people wouldn't accept me. I know you guys are LGBT+ accepting, and many of you are LGBT+ yourself. And I knew this the whole time but it didn't stop the fear that I wouldn't be liked. And I've always wanted to be accepted, and that's always left me forcing myself to be who I'm not.
When you guys first met me, I was an eleven year old with long brown hair who wore dresses and liked to call 'herself' a princess to cover up who 'she' really was. I never ever wanted to accept it because I saw what it was like in the media. Family Guy characters were physically ill at the thought of someone's father being a transgender woman, South Park made it seem temporary and stupid, pointless (though their more recent transgender episode fixed that, they clearly understand more now).
But now I'm a fifteen year old with short blonde hair who gladly wears trainers and jeans with the biggest smile he's ever had, happy that he's accepted himself. That's the first step, be yourself. I can't really ask people to understand if I don't do so myself.
From now on, it would be so wonderful of you guys to call me a boy, to use correct pronouns (he/him/himself rather than she/her/herself). As my mother and grandmother had both liked the name Ivan, this is the name I use now (also Jason is my middle name with Felix, so ya can sorta still call me Jas I guess??)
I'm honestly so happy now, I can't remember any time I've felt so glad and proud. It took fifteen years but I'm finally letting myself be who I've always been. And I would love you guys so much (not that I don't love ya'll to the max already!!!) if you would at least try and understand. Knowing most of you, many whom have been close to me, will be fine with it.
Y'know it took forever to actually gain the courge to write this I'm shaking I'm going to go lie down and eat waffles.
Have a gif of Markiplier to hide the fact that I'm scared with no real reson to be and I feel bad about not telling you guys the truth years ago.