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The following is a list of all of the things I have to give away in the event of my death, and to whom each shall fall.


WEAPONS:

  • 4D.50: (See "Competition" section)
​A six-shot revolver vaguely resembling the discontinued Taurus Raging Bull Model-500. It fires normal .500 S&W Magnum rounds, but with inexplicably higher muzzle velocity nearing the speed of light. Anyone holding the gun can telepathically cause the bullets to shift forward or backward through time, allowing for shots fired before or after a specified time to appear as if out of thin air. The bullets are capable of causing paradoxes, so firing them particularly far back in time should be avoided. The gun also grants the user the ability to timetravel forward and back in time infinitely, but only in ways that do not directly cause unstable paradoxes.
  • Razor-field: To my adopted son and past self, Suit. 
A telekinetically controlled electromagnetic field that causes metal objects to levitate and move around at the wielder's will. Contains several miscellaneous knives, scraps of sheet metal, silverware, etc. Most significantly, it contains most of a set of roughly six dozen assorted safety razor blades. These razorblades are nearly indestructible, and the only way they can be altered is by melting them in the heat of the birth of the universe. The material used to create them at the beginning of time was taken from the molten lump left after they were melted at the end of the universe, meaning that they are paradoxical and have no true origin. Because of this, they are temporally required to eventually be reunited so they can be melted down and created in the first place. I pass them out as a good luck charm under the hope that the people who own them will be reunited too c:  Suit, you will be responsible for handing out the following razors from the field to the following people:
  1. One to Meloney
  2. One to my nephew Ash 
  3. A switchblade I forged from two to my brother Sean
  4. One to my granddaughter DT
  5. One to my grandson KingKong
  6. One to my granddaughter Maxi
  7. One to my granddaughter MadMax
  8. One to my grandson James
  9. Three to my son Sparky
  10. Two to my daughter Yorkie
  11. Two to my daughter Omnia
  12. One to my grandson Nin
  13. One to my grandson Shadow
  14. One to my granddaughter Lumos
  15. One to my granddaughter Bellatrix
  16. One to my granddaughter Muzzy
  17. One to my granddaughter Nata
  18. Natalia's frying pan forged from six to my daughter in law Summer 
  19. One to Brocky
  20. One to Wind
  21. One to Catty
  22. A key forged from two to my old friend Fawl (Dragon Empress)


PROPERTY:

  • House in the suburbs (BOMBED. TIMETRAVEL OR MAGIC OR SOMETHING MUST BE USED TO RESTORE THE PROPERTY): Deed goes to my son by blood, Sparky - on the condition that all other people that I've at some point called my children (as well as my niece, Justiee) are allowed to stay and go as they please. 
A single-floor suburban house in the City, with three bedrooms on the ground level and two in the basement. The attic contains countless family heirlooms and stuff, such as the family photo and all my prize guns and blades:
  1. Desert Eagle Mk XIX .50 AE, Brushed Chrome w/ Muzzle Brake: To my nephew and son-in-law, Ash of the Rabbits (if the house is restored)
  2. Izhmash Dragunov SVD Military Sniper Rifle 7.62x54Rmm w/ 1P21 Offset Variable Scope (AKA the gun I pull out when Brocky is pinged): To my grandson, Nin (if the house is restored)
  3. orphan king's baseball bat: to my grandson, Shadow of Oblivion (if the house is restored)
  4. Colt M16A2E2/Colt ACR w/ M14 Optic: To Sparky (if the house is restored)
  • Fief in the rabbit kingdom: Passed on to Yorkie, who holds the strongest claim as my daughter, who was at one point wedded to Ash, my nephew and a preeminent member of the Rabbit clan. Should she refuse to accept it, the land will return to my brother, Sean of the Rabbits.
The Monochrome Keep (ie Castle Panda) and a few acres farmland and woods surrounding it, within the vast rabbit kingdom. Comes with a small staff of servants and a handful of Rabbit guards garrisoning it in a monthly rotation. Remember, the rabbits who live in the lands around the keep are legal rabbit citizens, not your playthings.
  • Pocket dimension (world of doors) + library: (See "Competition" section)
A labyrinth of rooms, hallways, and nearly any structure you can think of. Most areas of the labyrinth do not obey physics or logic. For example, a hallway can make seven left turns before opening into a decrepit football stadium full of advertisements written in long-dead languages. Each individual chamber is surrounded by an endless void of darkness, and connected by transdimensional doors. The doors are like portals, opening to completely new areas that would not logically be behind them. A free-standing door with nothing behind it will still open to a completely new location. Changes in gravity are frequent across chambers, with upright doors corresponding to hatches in ceilings, trapdoors on the floor opening to other trapdoors on other floors, etc. At the "center" of the labyrinth, there is a large library hundreds of stories high. The ground floor has a single desk. This is my desk. Don't mess it up. It the very ceiling of this chamber that the trapdoor in the arena opens to. Anyone holding the 4D.50 can, with practice, cause two doors within the labyrinth, or one door within and one door in reality, to link together at will. This is how it is entered and exited.

POSESSIONS:

  • Keurig Machine: To my brother Sean, so he can sit and drink coffee on his porch in a bathrobe all deadpan as shit happens around him, just like I did. I know you always wanted one >u>
It's a Keurig coffee maker with a bunch of pod things for it.
  • A bunch of unused birth control pills I found in Natalia's nightstand a couple months ago: To my sister-in-law/double-daughter-in-law/ex-wife Meloney.
If you're going to be so promiscuous, do it safely.
  • My now-uncharged CM star: To Brocky, who gave me the chance to wear it proudly and keep this place from infighting :D


TITLES:

  • Orphan King: (See "Competition" section)
The orphans in the City won't follow your command if you don't do something to deserve their respect, though.
  • Major Panda God (red panda): The powers the title entails aren't inheritable, but the title itself goes to my son by blood, Sparky.

COMPETITION:

The title of Orphan King, the 4D.50, and permanent access to my pocket dimension will go to the winner of a tournament. The tournament will be held in a closed-off portion of my pocket dimension - an open square arena about half a kilometer across with two-story-high walls made of stone bricks. There is water running in the cracks betwen the bricks on the ground, and several large rough pillars of marble simply levitating around everywhere that can be easily pushed and propelled. The room is hovering in an infinite expanse of blue sky with no other features beyond it but open air. There is one locked door at the center of each wall, and a locked trapdoor in the very center. 

If all combatants are ready to begin, they will be spontaneously teleported into random points in the arena. Each will also recieve a small key on a chain around their neck. These keys open the doors on the edges of the arena, which serve as one-way exits. The arena is spacially locked, preventing anyone or anything from teleporting into or out of it. Once all but one person has been willingly or forcibly sent through the exit doors, the hatch in the center will open, leading into my library. The 4D.50 should be on my desk. Whomever attains it will be able to enter and exit the pocket dimension from any door in existence at will. The following people are elligible to compete:

  • Sparky
  • Yorkie 
  • Sean
  • Suit
  • Omnia

​You can pick someone else to compete in your place, but only if all the other people competing approve them. ​FOLLOWING A SHORT CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW CHAT-RP DOESN'T REALLY EVEN ALLOW FOR WINNING AND LOSING IN THIS KIND OF THING, I AGREED TO THE AWESOME IDEA OF MAKING THIS A NORMAL WIKI FIGHT RP USING NORMAL WIKI CHARACTERS. THE FIGHT WILL STILL HAPPEN WITHIN THE SAME ARENA SETTING I LAID OUT EARLIER. ONCE A CHARACTER DEFEATS THE OTHER THREE AND *HOPEFULLY* SURVIVES THE PRETTY HUGE FALL INTO THE LIBRARY AND TOUCHES THE GUN, THEIR RESPECTIVE USER WINS :D

(Note: ​Since this whole rp fight is being done for ooc "rewards", it isn't really wiki canon. Thus characters CAN die during the fight without dying... forever. Also note that since the only way to get into the pocket dimension aside from initiating this one-time contest is to use the 4D.50, that all three rewards will be lost forever if everyone leaves and nobody picks up the gun.)




Yes, I still refuse to accept Yorkie and Ash's divorce. Ashie 10/10 best OTP.

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